What’s Your Legacy?
There is something inside of me urging me to write this post. I’ve tried to back away from it a couple of times or figure out just the right way to say it. Instead, I’m just going to let what’s been on my mind spill out. It is by no means earth-shattering.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how we affect other people. As humans it’s nearly impossible for us not to see things through own filter of reality. I think most people want to feel “right” or “justified” in how they act or react–that’s pretty normal.
I’ve been looking at the idea of how our actions create who we are in other people’s minds. To a certain degree our actions are our legacy. The question is what kind of legacy do you want to leave people with? Here’s some of what I think is important:
- Kindness—-Of course you can be kind and helpful as a strategy to get something you want. However, isn’t it better just to be kind to people because they appreciate it and it’s how you want to be treated as well?
- Give ‘Em A Break—-You don’t always know the stress or hardship someone is facing. So maybe someone is rude or or short with you. How about giving them a break a time or two and then see what happens.
- Loyalty––It’s easy to be a loyal friend when things are smooth and easy. Can you be loyal when the rough winds are blowing? I think loyalty is so important.
- You Can Do It—-It’s so much more pleaseant to be around people with a positive attitude. Life throws us enough detours and closed roads that we don’t need negativity coming from our friends.
- Boundaries—-Knowing your boundaries and adjusting them as needed helps those around you find their boundaries too. Sometimes saying no is the greatest gift you can give yourself and others.
- Forgiveness/Compassion—-For ourselves and others. No one’s perfect. Our feelings and sensibilites get hurt. Forgiving ourselves and others so we can move forward is a big one.
- Interest in Others—-Life can’t just be about us. It’s so much more fun to take an interest in other people, what’s going on in their lives and what they’re doing.
So do I always embody these attributes that I think are important—-nah definitely not. Still, I can continue to strive for them. I do believe that we’re all doing the best we can given who we are in the moment.
The miraculous thing is that in every moment we can learn, change, and expand who we are.
The legacy I want to leave behind is one of kindness, enthusiasm, fun and imperfection. I know I’ve go the imperfection part down already!
What about you? What kind of legacy do you want to create for the people in your life?
Photo Credit: docentjoyce
I want to write on your first point:
“Kindness—-Of course you can be kind and helpful as a strategy to get something you want. However, isn’t it better just to be kind to people because they appreciate it and it’s how you want to be treated as well?”
Personally, I enjoy being kind and helpful to others. I don’t expect anything in return except to be treated the same. And that is my strategy–that is what I essentially want: I want others to treat me kindly and respectfully.
I think each of us are motivated to act in a certain manner, because we are striving for something in return. Whether we are acting friendly as a way to gain popularity, business, respect or returned kindness. What really matters is the motivation that draws us to behave in a certain way.
All great points and I am glad you posted this.
Screwed Up Texan’s last blog post..Savory Crawdad Monica
Thanks Allie,
I don’t know why it was so hard for me to get this down on “paper” so to speak. I think even a little bit of kindness goes a long, long, way. I agree that our motivation for behaving in a certain way is important because I think ultimately those motivations become clear to other people! Thanks for your comment and always being so supportive.
There’s what I aspire to, and there’s what I manage to pull off. Weariness seems to work against me, and as I grow older, my ability to meet my aspirations in spite of weariness grows weaker. Or maybe I get weary more easily.
Bill, I hear you. Life has a way of gently, okay maybe not so gently, wearing us down. Which is why we might as well help each other along the way. You tend to be humble so my guess is you’re doing just fine:D.
What you said.
Some time ago I realized I’d rather be remembered for who I am than for anything professional I might have accomplished, for being good (or at least trying to be) more than being right, for thinking of others’ feelings before I speak (or write) rather than the ability to cleverly cut someone down. IOW, the Golden Rule is my life mantra, and I strive to follow it as much as I’m able. Not always easy, as you say, but I’ve seen far too often how a kind word in the face of rudeness can immediately reverse an unpleasant situation to go down any other path.
Yes, even though “being nice” is so out of vogue these days, as though kindness was synonymous with weakness. That putting others’ feelings ahead of one’s own automatically makes a woman a doormat. Not true. One can cry foul about whatever genuinely needs fixing without being bitchy just because it makes you feel like hot stuff.
Actually, it takes a lot more inner strength, and courage, to say and do good in the face of ugliness than to return like for like. But I guess a lot of folks haven’t figured that out yet.
Karen,
“I’ve seen far too often how a kind word in the face of rudeness can immediately reverse an unpleasant situation to go down any other path. ” Yes! This is so important. This is part of what I mean about giving people the benefit of the doubt too. Sometimes we all act badly, for whatever reason, and kindness can diffuse a situation so well.
In no way do I equate kindness with being a doormat. I agree sometimes it’s easier to say something bitchy then to step back and be kind. Also, kindness doesn’t equal taking a bunch of guff from people or not standing up for yourself.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. I appreciate it!
Love what you wrote Karen!
“Yes, even though “being nice” is so out of vogue these days, as though kindness was synonymous with weakness. That putting others’ feelings ahead of one’s own automatically makes a woman a doormat. Not true.”
How TRUE! Well said.
Screwed Up Texan’s last blog post..Savory Crawdad Monica
My positive attitude and my inspiration. I’d also like to leave some great books behind that I’ve written.
Hi Edie,
Well, I think you’re well on your way since you’re definitely an inspiration. Leaving some great books behind would be pretty awesome too!
Wow, I feel that in these difficult times, it is how we treat others that matters. I try to be kind to those I meet throughout my day. I smile at strangers, I hold doors open for others, I strive to be a better person than I was yesterday. With friends I am usually there with a helping hand or standing right next to them wondering how we got in this mess. Sadly I have had friends who have disappeared on me when times got tough. I have always found that when life gets rough I find out who my true friends are. That being said said I have fond memories of you from school. I cannot think of a single time you were not kind, not smiling and not easy to be around. So for me, your legacy of kindness is solidly intact!
My legacy? It would be nice to be remembered for the food, the fun and the laughter.
I’m with you on the imperfection part though, I have that down pat!
TheJoe’s last blog post..Answering a few questions
Hi Joe,
Thanks for taking the time comment. I really appreciate it. I love that you added food to the list. Sharing a good meal and cooking for others is a great ritual/legacy to pass on. I love what you say about striving to be a better person today than you were yesterday. That’s a pretty cool goal!
MF, beautiful post.
There are those whose glasses are half-empty, and those whose are half-full. You want to surround yourself with the half-full folks. They’re so much more fun. Like you!
: )
Awww JT, thanks for dropping by. I agree the half-full folks are fun!
The following was my astrological tidbit for today and it blend nicely with your messages:
“Learn to be yielding, and that way, you’ll exercise your strength. It sounds contradictory, but it’s not. Many ancient cultures consider water the strongest substance on earth because it acts with gentle persistence rather than brute strength, and in that way manages to shape its circumstances without destroying what lies in its path: learn a lesson from that and apply it to your own life.”